“I feel like I’m waging an internal battle.”
You’ve heard this line uttered by countless teenagers and 20-something’s and this is the point where you make up your mind about this being just another cliche melodramatic rant. You would probably stop reading here.
Let’s try to think out of the box here, just for a second. Every battle is not the same. And mine doesn’t have two sides; it has many.
There is no good or bad, wrong or right side to my battle because a) there are more than two sides and b) if I knew which side was right, don’t you think I would have resolved this war?
So coming back to the point, I’m battling the different parts of myself:
The part of me that believes that our education system retards creativity versus the part of me that wants to get into a good college.
The part of me that doesn’t care what other people think of me versus the part of me that got upset when a boy called me a hypocritical airhead.
The part of me that yearns for human interaction versus the part of me that dislikes most of the people I meet.
The part of me that feels horrible when I say something against a person versus the part of me believes that differing opinions need to be expressed to bring about change.
The part of me that wants to stand out, but only in the ways which are socially acceptable.
The part of me that wants to have all the freedoms of being an adult versus that part that desperately clings to the shreds of childhood I have left.
The part of me that refuses to fall for the stereotypes the media subconsciously urges us to believe versus the part of me that tries to conform to ‘pretty’ almost every time I go out.
The part of me that knows I need to exercise more often because my health is deteriorating rapidly versus that part of me that just doesn’t exercise, because, exercise.
The part of me that rebels against high school drama versus the part of me that feels insufficient if I’m not involved in a high school drama.
The part of me that believes I’m special versus the part of me that thinks I’m just another human walking on a planet millions of human have walked on before.
I’m a walking, talking hypocrite inside. But isn’t everybody?